


Dean Without Cas

by anAwfulLotofRunning, Mirror_Verse



Series: Mirror-Verse [41]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/F, M/M, Pining, Strip Poker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:36:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anAwfulLotofRunning/pseuds/anAwfulLotofRunning, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirror_Verse/pseuds/Mirror_Verse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Dean copes on his own without Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean Without Cas

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ten Steps Backward](https://archiveofourown.org/works/804499) by [caffeinatednightowl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinatednightowl/pseuds/caffeinatednightowl), [Mirror_Verse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirror_Verse/pseuds/Mirror_Verse). 



> Context: Human college AU. Best friends Dean and Cas aren't speaking, because Dean got just a bit overprotective of his "platonic" friend.
> 
> Cas was not amused.

Without Cas, Dean gets cranky.

He blames his bad mood on Sam, on the weather, on the 20 page term paper that is kicking his ass.

But in moments of stillness, he knows. Cas’s presence has long since seeped into every facet of his life, filling in the empty spaces. Now that’s he’s gone (God, Dean hopes he comes back soon) Dean can’t help but feel like a deflated balloon.

But he is Dean fucking Winchester, so he picks up and carries on. He ignores the voice that says,  _call him, you idiot. Call him and argue until he sees reason. Make him realize you were only looking out for him. Protecting him like you always do. Call and force him to take you back._

And he  _definitely_  ignores the even smaller voice that says,  _beg, you idiot. Beg if you have to._

Cas usually calls him at 9 on the dot, just to make sure that Dean made it home from work okay. Dean always grumbles a bit, makes fun of him, and calls him mom, but sure, okay. He likes it.

And now, he misses it.

At night, he can’t sleep, so he drives. He drives every night, anywhere and nowhere, because his only real comfort is the open road.

He blasts Ramble On as loud as the speakers can handle, but even Zeppelin can’t fill the space that Cas left behind. Sometimes he thinks that kid has wings. Giant, black, wraith-like wings that fill whatever room he’s in. How else could you explain such an expansive presence from a such a reserved, nerdy little dude?

On the third night without Cas, Dean breaks down and goes to Ellen. He knows that she will make fun of him, of course, but she also might be able to help.

He walks into the roadhouse—careful to employ his usual swagger—around eleven. It’s Tuesday, so it’s pretty slow.

Ellen spots him right away and waves him over to the bar.

He reaches across the counter to steal a lime, but she swats his hand with the bar rag she’s using.

“Good to see you, boy,” she says fondly. She deftly opens a bottle of beer and sets it down in front of Dean. “Where’s Castiel?”

Dean shrugs, trying to look nonchalent. “Probably studying or something. Or sleeping. It’s probably past his precious bedtime.” He snorts, derisively.

“Trouble in paradise?” Ellen asks, and she is looking at him fondly.

Dean slams the beer down on the counter with a little too much force. The foam spills out over the top as he growls, “Why are you looking at me like that? We’re not a couple, you know.”

Ellen gives him a long, hard look, and then drops her gaze. “Whatever you say, son.” Then she abruptly changes the topic. “How’s Sam?”

Dean is grateful for the reprieve. As much as he wants Cas back in his life, he’s not sure that he’s ready to talk about it just yet. And Ellen understands, doesn’t push him on it, because Ellen is awesome like that.

“Sammy’s good,” Dean answers easily. “Studying his brains out for finals right now.”

“Good boy,” Ellen nods her head approvingly. “And you? You getting any work done?”

Dean laughs. “Yeah, sometimes. Not as much as I need to. Cas usually drags me to the library but…” he trails off, then plasters a smile back onto his face. “I think I’m gonna go say hi to Jo, okay?”

Ellen studies him again, and gives his shoulder a little squeeze. “She’s in the guest room upstairs. You take care of yourself now, you hear?”

Dean nods, grateful, and walks up the creaky, worn wooden stairs.

He doesn’t knock, because he has never knocked with Jo. When you’ve known someone their entire life, these things don’t really matter.

Except when they do.

Jo is sitting on the bed, wearing cotton boxers and a black lacy bra. Across from her, dealing out a deck of cards is—

“Charlie?”

Jo’s girlfriend Charlie is just about as naked as Jo, and Dean blushes when she turns to look at him.

“We’re busy,” Charlie says, haughtily. “Leave us, bitch.”

Dean stammers something—when did he become embarrassed by the sight of half naked women?—and turns to leave when he hears Jo’s voice.

“Dean? Are you alright?”

He sighs, turns around. Decides to man up and finally ask someone for help.

“Do you have a minute?” he asks, ignoring Charlie’s glare of death.

Jo pats Charlie on the leg and whispers something in her ear, which makes Charlie go red from ears to toes. Dean hears her whisper back with a little giggle.

Charlie throws on some clothes and winks at Jo as she leaves the room.

“I promised to bang her later if she lets us talk now,” Jo says candidly.

“Gross, dude,” Dean coughs. “You’re like, my sister. You can’t say shit like that in front of me!”

She laughs, and swats at his arm as she pulls on a shirt.

“So what’s wrong?” she asks. “Is it Castiel?”

Dean glares at her, annoyed that everyone seems to think they are married.

Jo takes his silence as a yes. “What did you do this time?”

“Nothing!” Dean shouts, louder than he meant to. “I was just looking out for him, and he got all pissy. Punched me and walked away moping. Hasn’t talked to me in days.”

“Dean, I don’t even know what happened, but I do know that you’re an idiot and it was probably your fault. So why don’t you just apologize?”

“You sound just like Sam,” Dean grumbles. “Why does everyone assume it’s my fault?”

Jo just glares at him. Dean concedes the point.

“Okay, fine, because Cas isn’t an asshole and I kind of am. But that doesn’t mean the guy’s an angel!”

“No, it doesn’t,” Jo agrees. “But he is the best thing that has happened to you in a really long time. I know how important he is to you. Do you really want a friendship like that to go to waste?”

Dean doesn’t say anything for a long moment. He’s not sure that he can process any more emotions today, so he gets up and says, lightly, “I think your girlfriend is waiting for you. Far be it from me to keep you from your lesbian sex.”

Jo swats his arm again, but smiles. Before he leaves, she wraps him in a tight hug and kisses his chin, which is the only part of his face she can reach. He ruffles his hair, and two minutes later is back out on the road.  

He is completely out of emotions for the day, too tired to process anything that just happened. So he lets the wind rake cold fingers across his face, and loses himself in the dark of the road, even as he hopes that maybe tomorrow, right at 9, Cas might call to say goodnight.  


End file.
